Thursday, August 10, 2006

Poetry Thursday ~ Unfinished Business

Who doesn’t have unfinished business? Just before my soon to be ex-husband moved to the U.S. and we were suppose to get married, the company where I work had just hired new IT contractors.

One day, in walked one of the contractors, who for some odd reason just caught my eye.
He wasn’t drop dead gorgeous or anything. In fact, he had this earthy, kind of Kevin Baconesque look that attracted me. He sported the I jsut got out of bed hairdo, jeans, flip flops and a t-shirt. 5'9, a thin but defined frame you could see his nice abs through his shirt. I repeat I was smitten.

When he finally came around to update my computer we started chatting and flirting a bit. So his personality was even better than his looks. Could this really be? It was at that moment that I started to get the butterflies in my stomach every time I saw him, or would blush when others talked about him. There was even a little part of me that though he made coming to work even more enjoyable, if I knew I would get to see him. And even though I would occasionally run into him outside of work at the most odd places, it never went further than our flirty conversations on the job.

The people I work with, especially the men, thought that I should take advantage and have one last fling before I got married, but this was just not my style and eventually his contract ended and my life continued. Three years later he has returned to working here as a contractor. Oh my, some people say when I see him a metamorphosis occurs.

No, if it must be said
I wasn’t in denial.
Just lying to myself perhaps or others
in order to shield myself from you,
finding out how hot I really thought you were.
Hiding the office whispers and giggles, the redness
which surfaced in my cheeks or the nervous way
of locking of my finger tips and twirling of my hands
at the mention of your name.

Yes, perhaps for the thrill
I should have thrown away my morals
and values for a romp in the sack .
At least I would have put and end to the mystery
of what in my fantasies I thought I was missing.
Un-clouding the images I had of being engaged
in your intoxicating smile and laughter while lying in your arms.
Secure in our flirtatious ways with one another.

Yes, I lusted after you, in fact I still do
whenever I set eyes on you.
But I am not so bold, nor secure
to make the approach, dive in and make the kill.

In fact I might never be secure enough and
the great peace in that fact is that it means
I will never loose my perfect image of you
or my giddy school girl crush.

~ Lisa 2006

more Poetry Thursday here:


Blogger Tammy said...

He's back? ;) Your poetry was lovely. You did the right thing back then but now...

8:51 PM  

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