Thursday, September 14, 2006

Poetry Thursday ~ Who Do You Want To Be

I mentioned in an earlier post that Charles Bukowski is one of my all time favorite poets. Not that I would want to be him. I simply admire his ability to be so raw and push the boundries in his craft. For an assignment we had to take an aspect of one of our favorite poets and write a poem. The following poem is how I imagined him on the days he was just a bit too drunk.

Jack Daniels

Trapped he sits coiled
like a snake on the cold
tiled bathroom floor.
Shivering like a child
afraid of the dark, his
head rests peacefully
on the white cushioned
toilet rim. Sweat drips
from his forhead like
rain off a gutter onto
his shirt. The room
spins like a tornado
in the air. He waits
for freedom, waves
crashing inside his
stomach. He slithers
silently to his bed.

~ Lisa 1991

See more poetry here

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Sunday Scribblings #24 ~ I would never write...

Something I would never write is…

or at least do not feel I am good at writing is non-fiction. I have difficulty when it comes to even thinking of a topic to write about. The thought of writing non-fiction paralyzes me. I envy journalists and magazine writers and their ability to search out a story or find a topic to write about and turn it into a wonderful piece of writing.

I remember my non-fiction writing class in college, which was a requirement for my degree was the class that I suffered the most in. It was the one that I wrote my absolute worst in. My papers always came back marked profusely in RED! I was so happy when that class ended and I never had to look back.

Then last year I had the itch to try again and decided to take an evening class that taught freelance writing. It was held through a program called Evening at Emory and we met once a week. The class was taught by a woman who writes and edits for magazines and various client on an array of topics. When the class started we were told that each week we would write in some form and share our work with the rest of the class. We also worked on in class exercises. Our final piece was to be a piece written about someone we had interviewed, the topic choice was left up to us. The only catch, it had to be a random person that was in no way related to us.

Uh-oh, at this point I knew I was in trouble. I had no clue who I would choose.

As the class went on I struggled with each and every assignment. I would come to class with half written papers because in most cases the endings would eluded me or I just had no idea in which direction I was suppose to take it. We even had the opportunity to write an Op-Ed piece and submit it to newspapers of our choice. When we were tasked with writing a query letter, I chose to write one for an article that had to do with a form of meningitis that some dogs manage to acquire called GME. When it came time to read mine out loud to everyone in the class they seemed so impressed. But, I felt foolish when I was at the end and I needed to ask other’s how I should end the letter because I had not a clue. Once again I was paralyzed. I was stressed because I could not get mind to wrap itself around the task and move forward with it.

A very good friend of mine is currently making her dreams as a freelance writer happen. She is an outstanding writer of non-fiction. Her main genre is fitness writing. She also works as a Marketing Assistant for a Jewish Community Center where she creates the copy for the monthly community bulletin. We often talk about writing and I have often confided in her my unwillingness and fear to write non-fiction. She says ideas just flow within her and she never has a problem to take those thoughts and put them on paper. This is something I can’t envision or comprehend really.

I always feel as if I am strictly a fiction writer. I feel my inability to grasp the concept of writing non-fiction makes me question whether you can be a true writer without being able to write in both genres.

In my mind I say I would never write non-fiction. But in my heart I know that one day and with enough practice that I will be able to say I can do it. Then it dawned on me, that is exactly what I am doing when I blog.

See other I would never write's here:

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

The Long Weekend

The long weekend lasted into today for me and I must say going back to work was a real bummer. I will be so happy when the things I am working in my spare time allow me to take a different direction in life, which will include me working from home and for myself.

I spent the weekend painting my daughter’s room. I choose a blue for the walls, Morning Breeze by Behr. Yes, I know she is a girl and most people think of blue for a boy’s room, but I saw a picture in a Pottery barn catalog that had a blue and pink theme, so that is what I am going for. She already had the pink curtains and I decided to try and work around them. The only item of furniture I have chosen is this bed from Ikea. I can’t wait for that shopping spree, because there are so many wonderful treasures for kids to be had. My friend Alisoun is going to sketch something kid oriented for me, that I can use as a stencil and transfer to one wall. Then I will paint that design in chalk paint, so she can have her own drawing space in her room. I am excited for the finished product and will post pictures then.

I discovered a bunch of new artists that I stumbled upon through I love this site. I listen to it mostly at work. I think it is a great way to discover new music. I have fallen in love with listening to: Brandi Carlisle, Anna Nalick, and Brooke Frasier. At the moment I can’t get enough of their music.

I decided that I am opting out of the Self-Portrait Challenge for this month. I do not have many pictures with me and other people, at least recent. I really like to be behind the camera and not in front of it. I am not very photogenic. I only take good pictures when I am oblivious to the camera being there.

I ordered and received Keri Smith’s book, Living Out Loud, this weekend. I am so excited, and can’t wait to spend some time doing activities from it. I am already deeming this to be a relaxed weekend. A tiny bit of cleaning but mostly playing. The temperatures have started to cool a bit. We are only reaching the mid 80's during the day and then in the 60's in the evenings, so spending some time in the yard this weekend might be on the adgenda as well.

Today I was reminded by my boss at work that it is my 3rd wedding anniversary. Our boss has all our anniversaries flagged in his Outlook program. He reminded me last year as well. Guess if it had been important to me I might have remembered myself. Honestly, when you are not living with your significant other any more, and you have no intentions of getting back together, I do not see significance in the anniversary. I told him he could delete his flag. I am only waiting for residency paperwork to go through and then I will be filing for divorce.

Hopefully next year I will be a single woman moving on with her life.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Sitting on the Sidelines

I have been away from blogging for so long now. A combination of being busy, unmotivated to post and completely intimidated by what I have been reading on other blogs. It made me question whether blogging really is for me.

I read a lot of blogs and various types, but there are a few blogs that I have to read daily because I find these women so inspiring as well as talented artists. (Jen Gray, Chronicles of Me, Wish Jar Journal, Superhero Journal, Ramblings of an Ever Hungry Mind, Ink on My Fingers, La Vie en Rose , Be Present Be Here, and Moonlighting Artist) The way in which these women write about themselves and their lives. How they put themselves out there and open themselves up is to be commended.

When I sit down to right a post I am constantly deleting my thoughts. Always watching my words, how I say them or what I say. Fearing that someone I know well might stumble across my blog and get upset that I wrote about them or will be shocked at my openness. I also worry that my family will be hurt, if I write the harsh and honest truth, of how they effect my life.

I struggle with opening up on paper and sending it out in the world for all to see. The craziest thing about that to me is, that I have always been the type of person who never really cared what others thought of me. My motto has always been “either you like me for who I am or you don’t. My loss or yours?”

This morning the first blog I read was A Bird in Hand (Lisa Congdon: which I also read daily). It was about being your own person and how it resonated with me. I am a strong believer in being one's own person, though I have only been half my own person throughout my life. I have to admit, I have put half of who I truly am on hold, becasue I grew up not being supported in who I was or was not understood for who I was by my parents.

Now I am working to be my own person in full and not let others determine what I am or what I become. This is a journey that I am greatful to be making and looking forward to see the outcome. When I do this, then "I will be free".

I am beginning to realize through reading the words of these other women that I don’t need to fear. I need to just put it out there and what comes, comes. I do not have control over it after it ends up in Webland. But I do have control over whether I choose to blog and to see where it takes me.

Into September we fall. Happy Friday and have a great weekend everyone.